I can only imagine how many articles, tributes, blogs, and songs will be composed in memory of the artist known as Michael Jackson. He died Thursday after collapsing at his home in Bel Air. I don't recall ever being so profoundly saddened by the loss of an entertainer. And I say the artist known as Michael Jackson because none of us really new the man; only the image he created or the caricature the media perpetuated.
Already, the press is dragging up his legal issues, health issues, and financial problems. But for many of us, those things are difficult to recall while humming the lyrics to our favorite MJ cut. I think the reason many of us feel so unhappy about his death is because his body of work brought us so much happiness. When I think of his songs, his dances, his weird, little boy voice acceptance speeches, I think of my life at those moments. I rocked with him. We moonwalked. He was Bad and I was Badder. He invented music videos as far as I'm concerned. His concerts remain the best orchestrated and performed. His musical influence was, well, Thrilling.
See, when I think of MJ. I'm transported to a time when I was younger, skinnier, richer (in my mind), and very happy. Gathering with my friends to watch a premier of his latest video or learn his new dance routine were highlights of my life. Nothing hurt when I was in MJ's world. Even his music with a message, like that black or white tune, was drama free. The controversies of the man were absent in his music.
So I don't know if the man MJ was a good person or not. It's not up to me to decide. I do know the artist transformed the music industry and brought joy to a lot of people. My hope is that we can bury the man, Mr. Jackson, along with his issues without burying the music of Micheal.
Oh, my favorite MJ song is "Ben." Like the true nature of Michael, I can't even explain why. It just makes me happy.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Showing posts with label author. Show all posts
Showing posts with label author. Show all posts
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Pass The Praise
Most people are not very good at taking compliments. We like to get them, no doubt, but, then, we don’t know what to do. The appropriate response is a simple, “Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say.” Instead, we make statements like, “This old thing? I’ve had this dress forever,” or “Nah, it’s not a big deal. I always make banana bread from scratch at four in the morning.”
Why do we do this? Why do we minimize praise?
On the other hand, we often fall short in the compliment-giving area. There is nothing wrong with praising someone for doing a good job. We need to compliment each other a whole lot more than we do. If your co-worker has a nice new haircut, tell her. If your son took the time to iron his wrinkled shirt, tell him he looks nice even if he only ironed the cuffs and the collar. Maybe he’ll iron the entire shirt next time. Again, it’s important to understand the effect of praise. Research has proven that praise, as opposed to criticism, leads to more of the positive behavior.
I’m on this tip because I was a weather-proofer for most of my life. When you weather proof a home, you go through it looking for every thing that’s wrong. You find windows that don’t seal properly. You check to ensure there’s enough insulation in the attic. You look for light seeping through cracks around the entry doors; an indication you need to add weather stripping. You pore over every square foot to see where you’re losing energy.
In my advancing age, LOL, I’ve learned it’s just as important to look at the good things in my home. It’s beneficial to my mind and spirit to notice what is working properly. This applies to homes…and relationships.
We need to seek balance between the praise we give our loved ones and the criticism we hurl at them. We need to spend much more time talking about what’s working properly in our relationships.
I’ve come to believe that people are like my sports watch. It’s inexpensive and the design is simple. However, it’s much more complicated than it appears. Whenever, I travel outside my time zone, I try to change the time on the face of the watch. Invariably, I forget the peculiar combination of buttons I must push to change the time. I get mad at the watch and yell at it. I tell the watch it’s wrong and I’m going to replace it. Sometimes, I hit the watch.
It doesn’t change.
In order to get the watch to change on the outside, I must change the inside. I can’t do that by randomly pushing buttons. I have to push the right buttons, in the right order. Once, I get into the “heart” of the watch, I change the “behavior” of the watch. In other words, it responds favorably to my wishes.
I react the same way and I suspect you do, too. If someone says the right thing in the right way to me, I’m willing to help them. I want to help them. Yelling or hitting me doesn’t make me want to do anything but leave.
Perhaps this works for everyone. Maybe if we show each other more appreciation, we’ll get along better. I’m willing to try. Are you?
© 2009 Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved
Why do we do this? Why do we minimize praise?
On the other hand, we often fall short in the compliment-giving area. There is nothing wrong with praising someone for doing a good job. We need to compliment each other a whole lot more than we do. If your co-worker has a nice new haircut, tell her. If your son took the time to iron his wrinkled shirt, tell him he looks nice even if he only ironed the cuffs and the collar. Maybe he’ll iron the entire shirt next time. Again, it’s important to understand the effect of praise. Research has proven that praise, as opposed to criticism, leads to more of the positive behavior.
I’m on this tip because I was a weather-proofer for most of my life. When you weather proof a home, you go through it looking for every thing that’s wrong. You find windows that don’t seal properly. You check to ensure there’s enough insulation in the attic. You look for light seeping through cracks around the entry doors; an indication you need to add weather stripping. You pore over every square foot to see where you’re losing energy.
In my advancing age, LOL, I’ve learned it’s just as important to look at the good things in my home. It’s beneficial to my mind and spirit to notice what is working properly. This applies to homes…and relationships.
We need to seek balance between the praise we give our loved ones and the criticism we hurl at them. We need to spend much more time talking about what’s working properly in our relationships.
I’ve come to believe that people are like my sports watch. It’s inexpensive and the design is simple. However, it’s much more complicated than it appears. Whenever, I travel outside my time zone, I try to change the time on the face of the watch. Invariably, I forget the peculiar combination of buttons I must push to change the time. I get mad at the watch and yell at it. I tell the watch it’s wrong and I’m going to replace it. Sometimes, I hit the watch.
It doesn’t change.
In order to get the watch to change on the outside, I must change the inside. I can’t do that by randomly pushing buttons. I have to push the right buttons, in the right order. Once, I get into the “heart” of the watch, I change the “behavior” of the watch. In other words, it responds favorably to my wishes.
I react the same way and I suspect you do, too. If someone says the right thing in the right way to me, I’m willing to help them. I want to help them. Yelling or hitting me doesn’t make me want to do anything but leave.
Perhaps this works for everyone. Maybe if we show each other more appreciation, we’ll get along better. I’m willing to try. Are you?
© 2009 Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Texting My Way to Heaven
It's getting harder and harder to get into heaven. The Ten Commandments and Great Commission don't ask that much of us. The police and Congress have way more rules governing behavior. I'm not implying it's not challenging to obey the laws of God and man. I'm just saying we should be able to get through an ordinary day without choking an annoying neighbor or parking illegally. Of course, I moved recently so I don't know my neighbors in the biblical sense and I don't work downtown where parking is at a premium. Nevertheless, as the daughter of a Babtist preacher and retired football coach, I have confessed my sins, excepted Jesus as my Savior, and stopped betting on the outcome of the Super Bowl. Good stuff, right? Well, apparently, not good enough.
Today, I got a text that read, "If you love Jesus and you're glad he woke you up today, forward this email to ten people and you will receive a blessing. Act in the next sixty seconds or something bad will happen to your family."
When did this happen? Was there an amendment to the Bible to bring it up to date? I thought it was timeless. I don't recall reading anything about forwarding text to prove my love for Jesus. Geez. Like I don't have enough to do and not do. Now, I gotta forward text and emails to get a blessing. If I don't act quickly, something might happen to my peeps. If I do send ten text, I'll lose ten friends and deplete my remaining text for the month. Since it's an electronic omen, will my peeps iPods malfunction or will their cell phones stop working? I'm busy. I don't have time to scroll through my contacts to find ten people who won't curse me with a plague for sending them this text. I know! I'll send it back to the person who sent it to me ten times.
Hopefully, they'll get mad and stop texting me. I'd consider that a blessing indeed. LOL.
P.S. If this blog made you laugh, forward it to ten friends in the next sixty seconds.
Copyright 2008 Monica F. Anderson
www.drmoeanderson.com
Today, I got a text that read, "If you love Jesus and you're glad he woke you up today, forward this email to ten people and you will receive a blessing. Act in the next sixty seconds or something bad will happen to your family."
When did this happen? Was there an amendment to the Bible to bring it up to date? I thought it was timeless. I don't recall reading anything about forwarding text to prove my love for Jesus. Geez. Like I don't have enough to do and not do. Now, I gotta forward text and emails to get a blessing. If I don't act quickly, something might happen to my peeps. If I do send ten text, I'll lose ten friends and deplete my remaining text for the month. Since it's an electronic omen, will my peeps iPods malfunction or will their cell phones stop working? I'm busy. I don't have time to scroll through my contacts to find ten people who won't curse me with a plague for sending them this text. I know! I'll send it back to the person who sent it to me ten times.
Hopefully, they'll get mad and stop texting me. I'd consider that a blessing indeed. LOL.
P.S. If this blog made you laugh, forward it to ten friends in the next sixty seconds.
Copyright 2008 Monica F. Anderson
www.drmoeanderson.com
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Perfect Love
Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my, my, my! So nice to be cared about. While I've made a career from writing about my personal life, I really hesitated to post that last blog. No, I'm not afraid to admit fear or failure. I simply didn't think anyone in the mysterious black hole of the Internet would care, especially MySpace. That's where the blog appeared originally. MySpace is a social network. It's a big commercial. It's a place to pretend, not to be achingly authentic. I assume most blog readers are kind and compassionate. I also assume they are very busy. Busy with their own issues. Too busy to take on mine. Or so I thought. Still, on the chance that I might help one person pursue their dreams in spite of their anxiety, I posted that blog about my recent move to Austin. Apparently, I touched raw nerve. I received calls, cards, emailed testimonies, and comments like the ones posted below the original blog on my MySpace page. www.myspace.com/wwwdrmoecom
I appreciate every outpouring of encouragement and love. My favorite words came from the dear friend who quoted 1 John 4:18 -
There is no fear in love: true love has no room for fear, because where fear is, there is pain; and he who is not free from fear is not complete in love.
or if you're a King James fan -
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
Hmmm. I really like Austin. I do have imperfect concerns about where and how I'll live but, more than that, I have perfect love...I'm not afraid anymore.
copyright 2008 Dr. Monica Anderson
copyright 2008 Dr. Monica Anderson
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
A thought or two or three..
I was at the mall the day after Thanksgiving and I had a thought or two or three....y'all.
I’m standing in a long line at one of my favorite department stores at 6:20 AM on the day after Thanksgiving just thinking. Yesterday, I saw a stand up comedian on television joking about how women think all the time; she said our brains never stop working and I thought, "That’s not true!" I’m sure all women have long periods of silence in their minds when they’re not thinking about anything at all, they’re just -well…maybe she has a point because I usually am pondering one puzzle or another unless I’m listening to someone speak in which case I’m thinking about what I’m going to say when it’s my turn to talk. I know that I can listen and think because - I cannot believe that woman just tried to cut in this long line by pretending that her friend was holding her place. Does she not know what time it is and how little patience all of us bed head, no lipstick wearing women have for rude people who don’t want to pay their dues? We don’t even want to pay regular prices or we wouldn’t be up at the crack of dawn shivering outside locked doors waiting for someone to let us in so we can get a free snow globe that’s probably worth about a dollar along with the coveted extra ten percent savings off the sale prices. Geez, the nerve of some people. I’m glad that woman told her where the line ends or I would’ve had to say something because I have ninety-seven more stores to go to before the early bird sales end at 10:00 AM and I cannot stay in here all day. I only wanted the free globe but they had these cute sweaters for half price next to the globe giving people and... I wonder how much those employees are paid to pass out globes at 6:00 in the morning? That’s all they’re doing, standing there giving little green boxes to folks who are so excited you’d think that’s all they’re getting for Christmas. One man got two globes and I thought they had a limit of one per person but I only need one for my collection, which is a tribute to my insanity of doing this every year. No one ever comes over during the Christmas season and says, “Oh look at these lovely little globes with the year written in gold ink on the side. Did you risk being trampled to get this?” Oh well, some people have trophies and plaques, but I have glass balls filled with water and Disney characters. I worked hard for them and I’m proud of them.
Thank goodness, I’m checked out and on my way to store number two and I feel hungry I think, but I ate so much yesterday that I shouldn’t be hungry for a week or at least several hours. Hmmm, let me think, yes I’m definitely hungry but if I don’t go to store two they’ll run out of my size on those velour warm ups and I’ll have to keep wearing the rayon ones that make so much noise when I walk which reminds me I must work out today. Right. But I have those great leftovers. Okay. I’ll start working out next week or after Christmas. I shouldn’t waste food - oh no, look at all these people in here. I cannot believe the crowd. This place has a sale every week like they’re going out of business so I don’t know why we're clogging the aisles today except that George Foreman Grill is now at the lowest price of the season. Are they all here for that grill? No, that woman has a vacuum cleaner that I just saw for ten dollars less at the other store. I should tell her. No, she’ll think I’m strange and maybe she’s going to apply for a credit card and get an additional price break. In any case, it’s none of my business I just came here for the grill. How am going to get all this stuff to my car? I really need to get that right speaker in my car checked because I hate that hissing sound it makes whenever I play my Aretha Franklin CD but since that’s the only time I hear it, maybe it’s Aretha, she is getting older, so is the CD but Re Re ain‘t no spring chicken. Gladys Knight has a strong voice. Strong like good coffee and boy, could I use a cup right now. That’s what they should give away to early bird shoppers since they don’t have enough globes ’cause I’d love a cup of Joe and maybe a croissant with eggs and ham. That’s customer service, we don’t get good - did this girl start working here today or what? She is so slow and that’s the fifth time she’s had to ask the other cashier for help. I should have gotten in the other line. This is just like the grocery store; no matter which line I choose, I end up in the slow lane. My knees are cold…
You know, that comedian may be right. I’ll have to think about it.
I’m standing in a long line at one of my favorite department stores at 6:20 AM on the day after Thanksgiving just thinking. Yesterday, I saw a stand up comedian on television joking about how women think all the time; she said our brains never stop working and I thought, "That’s not true!" I’m sure all women have long periods of silence in their minds when they’re not thinking about anything at all, they’re just -well…maybe she has a point because I usually am pondering one puzzle or another unless I’m listening to someone speak in which case I’m thinking about what I’m going to say when it’s my turn to talk. I know that I can listen and think because - I cannot believe that woman just tried to cut in this long line by pretending that her friend was holding her place. Does she not know what time it is and how little patience all of us bed head, no lipstick wearing women have for rude people who don’t want to pay their dues? We don’t even want to pay regular prices or we wouldn’t be up at the crack of dawn shivering outside locked doors waiting for someone to let us in so we can get a free snow globe that’s probably worth about a dollar along with the coveted extra ten percent savings off the sale prices. Geez, the nerve of some people. I’m glad that woman told her where the line ends or I would’ve had to say something because I have ninety-seven more stores to go to before the early bird sales end at 10:00 AM and I cannot stay in here all day. I only wanted the free globe but they had these cute sweaters for half price next to the globe giving people and... I wonder how much those employees are paid to pass out globes at 6:00 in the morning? That’s all they’re doing, standing there giving little green boxes to folks who are so excited you’d think that’s all they’re getting for Christmas. One man got two globes and I thought they had a limit of one per person but I only need one for my collection, which is a tribute to my insanity of doing this every year. No one ever comes over during the Christmas season and says, “Oh look at these lovely little globes with the year written in gold ink on the side. Did you risk being trampled to get this?” Oh well, some people have trophies and plaques, but I have glass balls filled with water and Disney characters. I worked hard for them and I’m proud of them.
Thank goodness, I’m checked out and on my way to store number two and I feel hungry I think, but I ate so much yesterday that I shouldn’t be hungry for a week or at least several hours. Hmmm, let me think, yes I’m definitely hungry but if I don’t go to store two they’ll run out of my size on those velour warm ups and I’ll have to keep wearing the rayon ones that make so much noise when I walk which reminds me I must work out today. Right. But I have those great leftovers. Okay. I’ll start working out next week or after Christmas. I shouldn’t waste food - oh no, look at all these people in here. I cannot believe the crowd. This place has a sale every week like they’re going out of business so I don’t know why we're clogging the aisles today except that George Foreman Grill is now at the lowest price of the season. Are they all here for that grill? No, that woman has a vacuum cleaner that I just saw for ten dollars less at the other store. I should tell her. No, she’ll think I’m strange and maybe she’s going to apply for a credit card and get an additional price break. In any case, it’s none of my business I just came here for the grill. How am going to get all this stuff to my car? I really need to get that right speaker in my car checked because I hate that hissing sound it makes whenever I play my Aretha Franklin CD but since that’s the only time I hear it, maybe it’s Aretha, she is getting older, so is the CD but Re Re ain‘t no spring chicken. Gladys Knight has a strong voice. Strong like good coffee and boy, could I use a cup right now. That’s what they should give away to early bird shoppers since they don’t have enough globes ’cause I’d love a cup of Joe and maybe a croissant with eggs and ham. That’s customer service, we don’t get good - did this girl start working here today or what? She is so slow and that’s the fifth time she’s had to ask the other cashier for help. I should have gotten in the other line. This is just like the grocery store; no matter which line I choose, I end up in the slow lane. My knees are cold…
You know, that comedian may be right. I’ll have to think about it.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Cookie Monsters
I'm very angry and I don't get angry often. Well, not very often. I get upset, disgruntled, peeved, and agitated. Those are silent, seething, I-don't-want-to-get-punched-by-someone-angrier-and-larger-than-I emotions.
I'm angry because I was at Sam's this evening purchasing large quantities of paper products and eating my dinner. I had a sample of crackers for my grain group. I had a single cherry for my fruit group. One really nice employee gave me not one but two souffle cups of tilapia. Oooh. I think they'd sell more of that stuff if you actually got enough of the sample to taste the food. Like "Taste of Sam's." Anyway, it was time for dessert. I deserve a dessert. I work hard. All I wanted from that huge warehouse of canned goods was toilet tissue and a frickin' cookie.
I look forward to that cookie for the entire week! They have free cookies in the bakery and I feel no qualms about grabbing one at the end of my shopping/eating spree. I pay an annual fee for the privilege. I drive miles and flash my Sam's card with the hideous picture on it. (My hair was awful that day.) I walk on cold, concrete floors in harsh lighting for the right to eat those free cookies.
So, I was in line behind three people. There were four cookies left in the container. Four BIG cookies. The two little kids with the dirtiest hands I've ever seen, shuffled the cookies and selected one each. Normally, I'm a germ freak but I'm not aware of any outbreaks of E. Coli being traced back to cookies. Dessert does not kill. Not directly anyway. The guy in front of me was so excited his hand shook as he slowly reached into the cookie thing and took--yes the last two cookies! What the heck? I was practically standing on the heel of his shoes, breathing down his neck. I know he saw me. I was furious. I swear if he wasn't like 90-years-old, I would have lost it.
I opened my mouth to protest when the bakery lady came running over with more cookies. The greedy dude acted as if he were going to take more. How many cookies does a 100-lb man need? I love the elderly. I'm about to be one of them, but dang. It occurred to me that he might be on a fixed income and he needed the cookies. Then, I looked in his cart. He had steaks--several steaks. I had one five-buck rotisserie chicken for the week. Hmph. I reached over him and grabbed four cookies.
Now, I'm angry because my stomach hurts. What possessed me to eat four cookies on an empty stomach?
I'm angry because I was at Sam's this evening purchasing large quantities of paper products and eating my dinner. I had a sample of crackers for my grain group. I had a single cherry for my fruit group. One really nice employee gave me not one but two souffle cups of tilapia. Oooh. I think they'd sell more of that stuff if you actually got enough of the sample to taste the food. Like "Taste of Sam's." Anyway, it was time for dessert. I deserve a dessert. I work hard. All I wanted from that huge warehouse of canned goods was toilet tissue and a frickin' cookie.
I look forward to that cookie for the entire week! They have free cookies in the bakery and I feel no qualms about grabbing one at the end of my shopping/eating spree. I pay an annual fee for the privilege. I drive miles and flash my Sam's card with the hideous picture on it. (My hair was awful that day.) I walk on cold, concrete floors in harsh lighting for the right to eat those free cookies.
So, I was in line behind three people. There were four cookies left in the container. Four BIG cookies. The two little kids with the dirtiest hands I've ever seen, shuffled the cookies and selected one each. Normally, I'm a germ freak but I'm not aware of any outbreaks of E. Coli being traced back to cookies. Dessert does not kill. Not directly anyway. The guy in front of me was so excited his hand shook as he slowly reached into the cookie thing and took--yes the last two cookies! What the heck? I was practically standing on the heel of his shoes, breathing down his neck. I know he saw me. I was furious. I swear if he wasn't like 90-years-old, I would have lost it.
I opened my mouth to protest when the bakery lady came running over with more cookies. The greedy dude acted as if he were going to take more. How many cookies does a 100-lb man need? I love the elderly. I'm about to be one of them, but dang. It occurred to me that he might be on a fixed income and he needed the cookies. Then, I looked in his cart. He had steaks--several steaks. I had one five-buck rotisserie chicken for the week. Hmph. I reached over him and grabbed four cookies.
Now, I'm angry because my stomach hurts. What possessed me to eat four cookies on an empty stomach?
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